When It’s Time to Walk Away… Part 2 – The Family

When I sat down to write the original “Time to Walk Away” piece, I started to realize that I was feeling two very separate, yet very entwined, emotions. You can’t walk away from the act (the sport, the job, etc) without walking away from the people that you love. How do you say goodbye to your family? And maybe even harder to accept, how do you say goodbye to family when they are the ones moving on?  

When you put your blood, sweat, and tears into something, literally or metaphorically, it’s nearly impossible not to form a bond with the people down in the trenches doing it with you. Even when you compete against each other, or push each other, you learn to respect each other, and that often turns into caring about each other.

I know, I know, if you're really a family, you've probably formed life long bonds beyond just the job or the sport or the activity. And I think in many cases that is very true. However, I firmly believe there is a very different vibe and relationship between those who are actively involved, and those who have moved on. You no longer have the same practice schedule and travel schedule, you're not sharing the same stories, etc. Life gets in the way, especially when you're living very different lives. 

I have had the opportunity to form relationships with many great people in the last 28 years. I have people in my life that have been there since the day I was born, others only a few short months, and it’s hard to picture life without any of them. But there are also days where I wish I could go back in time, just for a moment, and put the pieces and people back together that have been left behind along the way.

I think it’s harder in sports that transcend grade level, or age. For example, when you play high school sports, you enter it knowing that the team will evolve each year. Freshmen join the ranks, seniors graduate. Saying goodbye is always hard, but is essence, you’ve had four years to prepare yourself. Sure people move or things change, but at the core, school sports are meant to end, and you can prepare yourself for that.

But then there are the teams and people you choose to surround yourself with outside of the school environment. The traveling leagues, the sand volleyball team, the gymnasts. These things transcend grade level, and often location (for those that drive hours each week to participate). You choose to come together as a family to make something great happen. There’s almost an immediate connection formed. There’s an understanding of the pride and passion the individuals surrounding you have in what they came to do. So when it’s time to hang up the grips or the cleats, when it’s time to walk away from the mat, or the field, or the court, is it harder to walk away from the people? From your brothers and sisters?

And again, how do you say goodbye to the people walking away from you? When I travel I always miss my family, but a) I know I’m coming back home, and b) I’m so busy with my conferences and activities that the time flies by. But when you’re the one left at home, it’s tough. You’re wondering what the others are doing, if they’re having fun, if they’re missing you as much. You’re probably starting to figure out that I don’t really have answers for most of these questions.

Facebook helps. Or hurts, I'm not sure. But I dig into that a bit more in Thursday's post. Stay tuned for the final installment, where I talk about what it means when it's time to walk away and you are the "gym mom" in the situation.